I’m still really mad and idk how to stop. I mean I shouldn’t even be mad. This is so stupid. Why am I mad. Maybe because I’m hecka stupid. Also he is stupid. And doesn’t fucking care about me or my fucking feelings and its just. Ugh. No he does care, just not as much as I wish he would. I’m just stupid. I’m asking way too much of him. Why am I even mad. I had a great time and its over, I mean it didn’t happen like I fantasized it to be… but I had an unbelievable night and even if there was that alternate universe…. where he did say yes, I would still be disappointed. And fuck this. Fuck all this feeling sorry for myself… sigh. Man. Maaaan.